Is there such a word-finishitis? Don’t know but I certainly seem to be queen of it lately. My definition: not staying FOCUSED enough to finish the task at hand. In my excitement of learning new things or wanting to try different ideas, I have developed an uncanny inability to start many things and never carry them through to completion. If I get stuck on a piece, I start another one.

     Now, I do need one or two on my design wall to spur me on and when I do get stuck then I can bounce back and forth between them. That actually helps me move on. But, over the last few months with learning all these techniques, I let things get way out of control. I realized it last Thursday when I couldn’t see over my fabric pile to the design wall. And the pile of unfinished quilt tops was getting larger again.

     I blamed it on everyone but me-my poor family, my husband, the dogs-well heck they did keep bringing in half the dirt and rain from the yard last week.  Until finally, I gave myself a little talking to. Put all the currently unneeded supplies and fabric away. Tidied and cleaned.

     I can see my walls again with works in process.

Things are piled neatly according to projects on the tables. Fabric fold neatly and books put away. (Another form of procrastination, I know. )

This is one of my piles of unquilted tops. Two just need bindings and sleeves.  The rest need to be sandwiched and quilted. These are the ones that are ready to go as far quilting is concerned. I procrastinate on these because at this point the machine quilting is a hard skill for me yet. There is another pile of unfinished tops which I would like to hand quilt….

Sewing of various parts together on the wall has begun again.

I am my own worst enemy. I need to finish things and this recurrent theme is really bogging me down.

Nothing is standing in the way of my art-but me. Not unlearned skills of lack of talent. Just plain old me. How do you know if there is talent there if you don’t finish it?

Another silly list that will be made. But it’s up to me to knock it off, isn’t it? Being honest to or with  yourself is sometimes the hardest thing.

Be creative and finish things, my friends!

     Yes, it will be the end of my studio time for the week as I am leaving shortly to pick up my daughter from college for the Easter weekend.

     I am still working through that piece I showed you Tuesday. It’s in a lot of sections with little progress. Not by any means giving up. Just busy with other things this week.

      I needed to order my supplies for the next class and take inventory on all my dyes. As I was doing that, I received my list of who is attending my next workshop. I had a day and a half sheer panic – I am not worthy, why am I going, why in the world would I think I could take classes with them….they are established talented artists….

     And then I came full circle. I am excited. I am very privileged to be able to go and it’s not cheap.  I want to learn all of these techniques and really don’t want to let my fear of- not knowing things – of not succeeding-get in the way. Once I get over that -every time I go-it’s this little magical adventure that is a treasure because it’s uninterrupted studio time for 12 -15 hours a day . Uninterrupted is the key and not necessarily the hours.

      I don’t want to compare myself to where they are and what they do because I create with MY hands. And I alone need to be happy at the end of the day with what I create with MY hands.

     Whew- this whole art thing just really messes with your head, doesn’t it? I don’t remember any of this from being a physical therapist. If another co-worker’s patient was progressing faster than mine, I would just ask-what protocol are you using? can you show me the technique?  can I try it on you? Not so much with art.

     I am happy to go and look forward to seeing how others work and what they do. But I am going to wrap my little head into thinking about what -I- am going to learn. And not how much others know or do. My hands and my heart. With lots of enthusiasm.

    
    
     Just a few more shibori silk experiments. Having family here this weekend so have Happy Easter! Back Monday.
    

     I forgot to tell you about the questions my friend Mike asked me when he bought my quilt. ( Ah yes the one in process…) Mike was my husband’s roommate in college and is now an architect. He and I bartered services a few years ago and he designed my studio space and I made him a quilt. He wanted it hand quilted and it took me months…but he has enjoyed it. I find it interesting that someone who deals in hard materials-architectural materials-enjoys textiles so much. Intriguing.

     With his recent quilt, he walked into my studio and liked the quilt on my design wall. Right away he said it was his. I was really surprised but happy. (In the back of my mind, I was thinking he is just being kind and just wants to help me out. )  I asked him why and he had very specific answers-the colors but mostly the abstract grid pattern. He, in turn, asked me about the process. Those questions are easy to answer. But then he asked me the following questions-

1. What was my inspiration for this piece?
2. What was the inspiration for the design?
3. Where was I trained?
4. What are you doing with all this/ Where do I see myself two years from now?
5. What if someone sees this quilt-am I prepared to do it for someone else?
6. Do I have a portfolio?
7. How many other people are doing art quilts in this area?

     Well, those are the questions, aren’t they?

     I have been thinking of them. More than enough. I am just in process right now. I just need to make more pieces to know or catch a glimpse of some of the answers. That was my answer. I am just at the beginning of the path.

    A great friend asking me great questions. Very few people know what to do or how to respond to what I am doing.

    Go over to Jane Dunnewold’s  blog, Existential Neighborhood today. What a succinct post.

    Off to take sick child to the doctor and hopefully get some quilting time in today. Marc went skiing in Vermont with his old East Coast friends.

    Be creative, my friends.

    Well, I decided to put myself out of misery and ziplock one of my projects on my design wall. Ziplock: A term use to describe placing all pieces and parts of a horrible idea or project into a plastic bag and having the satisfaction of closing a zipper on it.  (Yes, I know plastic bags are horrible for the environment but I re-use them and they are currently keeping me sane. They contain bad ideas or horrible art.)

    Some projects just need time and they remain up on my design wall for a long time until I move them along. I know that I am just stuck on those projects. They have some degree of hope involved in them.

     But some just need to be put in a ziplock bag and put in my bin. I rarely come back and re-visit them. I don’t hear any screams from that region of the room to please use me up or fix me. I don’t even know if I feel any guilt over them.( well a teensy bit of guilt over wasting some fabric).They just don’t work. Composition wise, color wise or just plain me creating too much chaos. It happens.

     Two good things about it: 1. I don’t feel the need to show you. 2. I move on quicker than I use to .

     Anybody read any good books lately?

I hope to be creative today. Be creative, my friends!

   I had a day of lemons yesterday -but the bright spot of my day was seeing a quilt my friend made. I was amazed at where she has come in the past few years and I am so happy for her. Take a look at her most recent work at gjbquilts.blogspot.com.  Gail sat next to me at a workshop a few years ago. I have enjoyed her friendship.

   I had my week all planned out. But yesterday was a day to do what I always tell the kids: when life gives you lemons, you have to make lemonade. The desktop computer needed help and had to be taken to the computer store. My camera was giving me fits-it’s the user, yes, I know, not the camera. Everything was way too dark despite my adjusting all controls on the camera. I had forgotten to wash the backing of my next project up for the day. No problem , move on to the next.

     So, I moved on to the next project and my machine started to throw up thread on the back of  my quilt. Yes, truly the user again. I adjusted tensions, tried a different machine,went out and  bought Bottom Line thread. I was trying to do wonky circles. Definitely the uptight user. So, after four hours, I took a break. Took a walk.

     Read the camera manual and book I purchased. My model camera has an inherent metering issue-need to wrap my head around that but it’s not me. Kept adjusting and enjoyed the walk.

     Ater dinner, I picked out threads. I put the quilt aside until someone braver than me can help me with my skills and I basted another. But I was brave enough to try a picture in a dark room, and all is well. Now to learn how to crop.