Maybe it’s being gone from the land of blogging for a few weeks. (I didn’t take much time to read posts the last few weeks.) Maybe it’s the fact that there is a lot of laughing at others going on at my house lately-the not so nice kind of laughing-the laughing at and not the laughing with someone.  But I am very  sick of some of those bloggers out in  blogland.

     You probably remember some of those kids from the kindergarten sandbox. When you aren’t looking, they throw sand at you. Or hurl nasty names at you and the others join in.  I have always been taught to be nice. Sometimes  a good thing and sometimes a bad thing. I have taught my children and I have worked hard to -if you disagree with what someone is doing or saying there is a kind way to express your opinion. Constructive criticism. You say what your opinion is and the person knows where you stand and you feel better because your opinion was heard. Say it and move on. So here I go. This is what is bugging me with blogland.

Dear nasty blog post writer:

     Comments: For the most part I am a lurker. But for the times when I am brave enough to leave a comment on your post, do not spew back some nasty or snide remark to me.  I will not leave denigrating remarks on your posts-never have and never will. It is not nice. So I expect the same respect from you. E-mail me if you have anything of length to say to me.

     Your blog posts: I certainly hope if you are criticizing someone in a post, you have contacted them prior to your post to express your opinion. I know- I know -free speech and all but mud flinging in blogland seems a not so nice sandbox kind of a thing to do. I know art quilters are trying to elevate their art to a different level, but constructive criticism is one thing and just mean nastiness is another.   You are now deemed a nasty person and I will boycott your postings from now on. I don’t care who you are-how many awards you have won or what exhibitions you have been in you are but you are not nice. You go on and keep posting your nastiness. I am done reading your posts.

   I am just done with mean. Really done with it and disillusioned with it. As much as I dislike my kids listening incessantly to Taylor Swift, I take the words to one of her songs: why you gotta be so mean?

     Debating the need to keep blogging. Maybe I should be spending the time to sew rather than the time it takes to blog.

      The end of the week and nothing to show you. I am really disappointed. For some reason, I feel as if I am swimming against the current.

      Today, I was at the local farmer’s market at 8am and proud to have this done early. I forgot my wallet.

      I was ready and dressed for yoga (the first in 4 months) after my doctor’s appointment at 10. He ran an hour and a half late. I missed yoga . Ok, I will go exercise. Didn’t have my tennis shoes once I got to exercise. Went home and took the dogs for a walk instead which is what I usually do.

      Did my chores and then sat down to sew. Time to pick the kids up from school. College girl comes home and the weekend begins.

    Clearly, my day is best when the time in the studio starts early in the morning. I am working on machine quilting some older projects. I have at least figured out that I will feel better and be freer to move on once these projects are done.

    I am hoping for a more focused week- next week. I can make it happen.

    Be creative, my friends.

On another note-Mom is good and news is positive! Thanks for your concern and prayers.

     Every time I dye fabric, I feel a little like a squirrel. I watched them today as I was outside doing yardwork and they were all scurrying about trying to carry as many nuts as possible back and forth all morning.  I understand their hurry up attitude because I feel as if I need to dye as much fabric as possible before winter.  So, it really is no surprise to you or to me that I dyed another 40-45 yards last week. I really only needed a few yards of red. The mess and fuss is already started so I might as well dye more.  And maybe a few paler shades might be nice too…and so it went. Then came the ironing. So, I have been working.

     Beautiful paler shades. And the red which continues to turn out on the orange side no matter what I do.

    Also, found a larger rack and just put it up by my machine. More beautiful color.

     
     Craving color as I machine stitch two black and white small pieces.

     Just little study pieces to get myself back in action again. At the beginning of the school year, I always take time to think of what my plans will be. A list might be needed here in the sewing room. Just thinking.

    Enjoy the cooler days, my friends. Be creative.

      After talking to an old friend, Linda, last night, I hung up the phone and pondered alternatives. What part of this creating process currently thrills me? (Keep it clean please.) My quick answer , of course, was adding color to the fabric. Not just dyeing of the fabric but any technique that adds color to the fabric. 

     So out comes the table and out comes everything else in the garage related to fabric and color.

    And then take that “color” and add it to my last study. 

     I only had a few tubes of acrylics and just went with  what I have. Not exactly great colors but that wasn’t the point, was it?

Mmmm….well I was able to try to add to where I thought the piece was lacking but couldn’t totally correct it. But I did learn one thing: Never fling acrylic paint in a fairly new garage. Thank goodness I moved the cars out. I liked how the acrylics emphasized the texture of the stitch. 

     Since I have have been home, I have this overwhelming desire to be by the water. We live about 45 minutes from Lake Michigan and I have been taking every opportunity to soak in some water views. The plan on Saturday was to get up early and join all the other crazy people who wanted to do the same thing and go to the beach. However, the weather took a real turn and it was cold and very windy. Well, we went anyway but just took a drive and walk along the lakeshore. We ended up at South Haven beach- windy, cold and 63 degrees.

    I haven’t seen the lake like this in a long time. The waves were washing over the pier and a fool was standing out at the end.

I looked out and I saw these guys-what is this-not parasailing?-windboarding? They were flying on these boards and having a great time. I had never seen this before.

There were three guys who went out and were just having so much fun riding with the wind.

I kept thinking of how incredibly strong their upper bodies must have been with the wind gusts we were having.

The board looked like a snowboard.

The sail was large and heavy-drying off before he loaded it into his truck.

A little water watching at the end of summer. Then I went home and have spent about ten hours purging my sewing room-dealing with scraps and things. Guess I didn’t really put things away after returning home:).

Happy Summer, my friends!

    Mmm…that’s about all I can say about my art life this week. It’s the end of the week. I seem to have underestimated the fact that I would need to move my oldest back to school tomorrow. And I had way too many appointments this week.

     Whatever bits of time I did have, I worked on a memory quilt for a friend who lost her husband a few years ago. I don’t feel I can share that with you though as it’s hers and only hers. My precious friend that it is for is a private person- her grief is private-so no sharing this time. I finished piecing it this week and will try to wrap it up this weekend. Made me sad…

     I also sat down and wrote out some goals for myself. I seem to do better with a list. One of them was updating the blog but in my attempt to do that, I have really screwed it up. So just bear with me until I can figure it out. Did Blogger change their templates….? I want my old one back….and can’t find it.

     Happy Summer my friends!

I started having problems last week with my computer and blamed it on my lousy dial up. Well dial up is still lousy and slow but my computer is just sick. It has gone to the computer hospital today. After I got my car keys back from my huband who mistakenly took them back to MI with him. The fed ex man was a hero this morning- he said three people don’t usually greet him in the driveway. Keys back, computer gone. So we solve one problem and another one comes along…no big deal but just an inconvenience.

So I’ll be back when the computer is back. It’s really hot here-95! Time to find some water.
Happy Summer, my friends!

     I have waited for today for three weeks. I knew things were going to be busy so my expectations were very low for what I would accomplish in the me aspect of my life-the sewing part of me.I tucked it away while I did the fun stuff with them and enjoyed every minute of it. I didn’t want to wish my time away with end of the year kid stuff but the carrot at the end was-today. A day when I could sit and sew and they could play outside and just have fun in the sun.

     Except when I went to sew, I had machine problems. Once again. I must deal with my machine issues( I don’t know how yet but I think a trade-in is warranted!) and -my really sore neck. I don’t know what I did to it! Ouch!

     In all my mental confusion from all these classes and information overload, maybe I have driven myself crazy. I do know one thing from this temporary break from sewing.

     I am not one bit happy unless I sew. Every day. I miss the process . Having something in my hands-be it machine or handwork is a part of me. I knew it before. But it doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad art, it’s just not me without it. I really have struggled with whether what I do or will do is good enough lately. But it doesn’t matter if it is good enough for anyone but me. Because I just need to sew to be me.

     So, tomorrow on our three hour drive to a soccer finals game -you know I will have sewing in my hands. Because, I am not driving there.

     I might need some serious Aleve or Advil though. I am back.

Happy sewing, my friends!

     Thanks for your responses to my question yesterday. I guess after spending a week with other like-minded people I have questions for myself. I do know that it is just uncomfortable for me to say that I am an artist. I feel like I need to earn that title yet and it will be up to me to be comfortable with saying that I am-someday. Just like it is up to me to make my quilts and grow….I greatly respect those who are artists and can say that. You must work so hard to be an artist. That’s all I know. Just feel conflicted with what I should call myself. (Do I need to decide that today?) Conflict which usually makes you grow is ok…

    Panic: I needed to help my son prepare a snack for his country report today. Czech Republic.We had our one hour window last night before baseball practice.  Who in the world thinks of all these things at the end of the school year? ( February and March are a great time to do big projects). Thank goodness for the internet and finding a recipe. We made a shortbread strawberry cookie-enough butter to make anything taste good!

   More panic: I am not packed and must fly to VT for that wedding this afternoon. I am just bringing hand sewing and mindless knitting. Notice I haven’t thought about clothes yet. More pics from last week are coming, I promise.

Happy Sewing my friends!

     There are no pretty pictures of what I have finished. There are no cheery thoughts today. I only have questions-deep burning questions that are bothering me to the core of my being. I am a physical therapist by profession and loved helping others. I was always gratified by my job-sure tired and frustrated by paperwork but always rewarded by the joy that comes with helping others. I feel a little selfish right now with only doing things that make me happy. And this was before I  heard Eric speak this morning.

Eric is a minister who came to speak at my kids school this morning. He just got back from Haiti. He has been going there for 20 years to serve in various ways. He went to help with intrepretation for a medical response team. As tears ran down my cheeks after seeing the pictures and hearing the stories I am asking myself:

Could I sleep in a tent? I don’t know.
Could I eat tuna fish and crackers three meals a day? Could I live without a shower for long periods of time?
Could I not wash my uniform for days on end?
Could I help move a stretcher-yes
Could I help bandage a wound-yes
Could I do it if the patient didn’t have any pain meds?
Could I debride a wound? it’s been a long time
Could I give a bottle of water to a thirsty child?
Could I  teach someone how to use crutches or to wrap a stump? When will there be crutches? are there Ace wraps?
Could I stand their pain? Could I hear their stories?

Could I be used in any way-here or there? I don’t know but I need to ask myself some serious questions and pray about how I can use what I know and what my hands can do. I know it’s more than just dropping some money off. And it doesn’t involve adopting a child. They need to be in their country for now. They have had enough trauma.

I will sew today. But I am not sure it will be happy sewing. What would you do for another?